I remember in the 1970's and 80's reading about life in the Soviet Union, where the government was always listening. Also about people disappearing in the middle of the night, never to be heard from again. Rumors of Soviet-sponsored terrorism and torture. The looks on the hardliners faces scared me. From Kruschev to Brezhnev, they all seemed like miserable individuals to be around. Paranoid, suspicious, and vindictive.

I read these days about torture, government espionage against its own citizens, and invasions of countries for profit. Only it's not the USSR now. What have we allowed our government to do? What have we become?

The occupant of the White House denounces the importance of the Constitution, the document he has sworn to uphold, and Congress, neither Democrat or Republicans, say a word. Where are the real men? I refer to those who have the balls to do what's right, even if it may damage their careers.

They say everything comes in cycles, and I guess the current global climate proves that point. I never thought I'd believe the words of a Soviet leader over our own, but that day has arrived. It's embarrassing to even see Bush in the same company with someone as intelligent and as cultured as Putin. It all makes me want to puke.

I declare that the intelligence of this nation to be inversely proportionate to the number of those who support Bush.

Is it just me, or does this picture look eerily fascist? I keep looking at the backdrop, sure there's a swastika in there somewhere.

I've been thinking about you a lot the past couple days. It's not just the time of year, though I do remember Christmas with your family, and the blue pullover you bought for me. And it's not just because the cold reminds me of us walking on the levee, snow falling on your brown hair, hot chocolate by the fireplace, the smell of sweet smoke in your hair. Journey, The Stones, and The Beatles ruled the stereo.

Alas, I was but a stupid kid and, looking back, leaving you was quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever done. At the time my reasons for doing so felt valid, but I now see the shallowness of my rationale. I honestly believe that if I'd been just a tiny bit more mature, we'd still be together today.

I remember waking one morning feeling something had changed. My little mind interpreted this change as no longer being in love with you. It never even occurred to me that it might just be a phase. The newness wearing off. No, in my extreme view of the world it had to be something bigger. I was convinced I no longer loved you. I can only imagine your hurt.

We ended quick and clean. You never called, sobbing. Too proud for that. I, in all my arrogance, never looked back. Convinced better things awaited just down the next road.

Twenty-something years later, I'm still on that road. Better things, I've yet to find, and sometimes I'm sure I've lost my way. Friends and lovers come and go, some like a butterfly softly alighting on the back of my hand, others like a 747 crushing my skull. My feet grow tired, my vision blurs, but the road shows no sign of ending.

Stupid, stupid kid.