Why I'll Never Own Another Car

It’s not that I don’t like to drive; I do. Traffic doesn’t bother me too much either. Three bucks a gallon gets me to thinking, but the real reason is the ownership itself. You’re led to believe you own this 3,000 lbs mass of steel, rubber, and glass, but you can only keep it if you pay ongoing fees.

Last night brought an old, sick feeling back to the pit of my stomach. One I hadn’t felt in almost 2 years.

About a month ago, I bought a car, mostly as a way of seeing my girlfriend who lives in Ohio. I honestly hadn’t the time to get tags for it, what with working 6 days a week and preparing for a 3-week house-sitting gig. I’d planned to do it this week, except that I didn’t get a day off, so was planning to do it after house-sitting.

When I got home from work, however, a note hung from my door knob. It said my car would be towed because it didn’t have a tag. I was furious. I wanted to set fire to the liability in the parking lot. I never wanted to see it again. I called my girlfriend and told her to come get the piece of shit out of my face asap.

I’ve settled a little today. The car has tags, and I drove it to work. My rage now focuses on my apartment management, and I vow to leave there at my soonest opportunity. Since my lease is already up, I feel the Universe telling me it’s time to move. I’m looking for a place closer to work. I should be out by August.

Almost all stress in my adult life has been caused by cars (with the exception of the stressor with the French accent, but that’s another story). Maintenance, legal, or storage issues constantly popping up. It’s the perfect way for the government to keep tabs on you, while milking you out of more and more money you worked your ass off for, and already paid taxes on. Combine that with Big Oil, and you’ve got the ultimate milking machine.

Maybe I’m crazy, but driving a car doesn’t rank high on my list of priorities. I’ve got much better ways of spending my money. I’ve saved almost $5,000.00 in gas alone over the past year or so. If I were to spend that money on something, I’d much rather spend it on a hooker than give it to the government or BP. A $5,000.00 fucking from a hooker would feel much better.

I had almost forgotten what that feels like until last night. I’ll go on renting cars, but owning one is something I think I’ll never do again.

Looney Tunes

While sitting at the BP traffic light yesterday morning, a guy yells out to me, "Hey, Looney Tunes!" Before he could mutter another syllable, I asserted, "You're throwing 3 bucks a gallon down your gas tank, and I'm looney tunes?" His little mind obviously couldn't grasp much beyond name-calling, and as he struggled for words, the light changed and I was on my way.

I honestly don't believe gas prices are too high. In fact, I still think they are incredibly low. On what do I base this? Everywhere I look, I see oversized trucks and SUV's. That tells me that, as a whole, our society doesn't really give a shit about 3 bucks a gallon. My guess is that it won't matter until the majority is faced with some tough decisions. Decisions like, "Am I going to put gas in the car this month or pay my electric bill?" Most of us haven't felt this kind of bite and, until we do, I say gas prices aren't high enough.

How high is too high? We've got a way to go. I'd say about 10 to 20 bucks a gallon might get some of the sleepers to at least take some notice. You say 10 or 20 bucks will never happen? Three or four years ago we would have said the same about three bucks. It's gonna happen.

But then, what do I know? I'm Looney Tunes.