I started looking for another job recently. Not very hard, mind you, as with my current income combined with what I’ve got put back (47 cents!), I figure my bills will be paid through March. Still, it would be nice to have a little spending money.

I’ve decided upon another change of careers. After almost four years of trying to build a practice, it’s painfully obvious that the demand for male massage therapists is almost nil. Yes, I know there are guys out there making a living doing massage, but I’ve given up trying to figure out what kind of magic they’re doing. It really sucks being discriminated against simply because you have a penis.

So, what am I going to do now? I’ve always wanted to try pediatric gynecology. I’m sure it pays well.

Back to the job thing. It’s been almost a year since I’ve done manual labor. Probably the only year in my life where I wasn’t around pissy people (not all, but it only takes one to fuck up your whole night), doing something I’d rather not have been doing, for inefficient and unappreciative supervisors. The year has been good. I’ve studied, meditated, and been lazy. The ideal.

Going through the classifieds brings back that sick feeling in my gut. You know what I’m talking about. When you have to pretend you’re somebody you’re not, just so you don’t have to eat out of garbage cans and sleep in the rain. You pretend like you really care if the work gets done, even on nights you wonder why the hell you didn’t call in sick. You pretend to like your boss, yet every minute you fight the urge to tell him to shove that pallet jack up his ass. You know.

I never make New Year’s resolutions. Surviving this long without a “real” job, however, eliminates a lot of the fear I used to own while I was a slave, and it causes me to rethink this position. So, here’s my resolution: To do all I can, to utilize all my resources, creativity, and motivation to survive another year without a job. Why? Because jobs suck.